I love the water.
And, when it is my time to go, I'm coming back as a dolphin.
If you ever spent any time watching them, they know how to play!
They live with JOY!
I'm not sure if dolphins have rough patches or bad days but they sure show resilience towards play and joy.
This fantastic photo was taken by a friend of a friend in Florida where we were just visiting. It makes me smile.
And I was thinking to myself - what gives me great joy in my life? And, how can I intentionally create more of that in my life.
Water. I love being on it, in it and near it. So I have intentionally set out to schedule more water dates with myself and my family.
Then I got to thinking of the opposite.
What things tend to rob me of my JOY?
A big joy thief is FEAR.
We all fear.
There isn't a successful person in the world who doesn't feel fear.
The difference is they don't let it stop them from taking the action...
The photo above is of a solid gold Buddha. It's real gold. Back in the 1700's, Thai monks covered up depictions of the Buddha for political reasons to protect them from theft or destruction.
The above Buddha was covered up with a sloppy mud like substance made to look like a very ugly Buddha statue and hence, not one to steal. The problem was that they forgot about what was underneath the ugly exterior. In fact, the inner beauty was not known until may years later. The huge ugly Buddha was stored outside until a new spot was created.
In 1955, a new temple was built and it was large enough to hold this enormous "ugly Buddha" statue. During the long process of carefully moving the statue, it became dark and the statue fell. It was too dark at the time to assess the damage so the monks decided to wait until morning to see how they could repair it.
The next morning, while assessing the damage, one monk noticed a glint under some of...
Life is filled with challenges, right?
Sometimes, it feels like they are piling up.
Of course, it is part of the human experience to have challenges.
These never go away!
And, sometimes it feels like the hard challenges are, well, adding up!
The last week, I have felt like maybe I have too much on my plate, too many challenges to handle.
I walked out my door on the way to physical therapy for my new hip and noticed something.
Yes, it was blooming.
But, that isn't it.
Or, it's not what got my attention.
We have daffodils all over the yard blooming.
This one is different.
This bulb had to grow a stalk over 3 feet high through a bush to bloom!
Now, that is resilience!
And, if you look to the left - there is another one!
Okay so this might seem a tad ridiculous but really if that daffodil can do it, can't we?
Ok - but what is even better than being resilient?
Being anti-fragile is simply allowing each challenge...
The triangle on the left is what David Emerald calls the "Dreaded Drama Triangle" in his great book, "The Power of Ted". The one on the right is the empowerment triangle.
We all have been inside the Drama Triangle. That is called being human.
The trick is to recognize you are in this triangle and shift to get to this one:
Let's look at the 3 characters we can inhabit in the Drama triangle:
Each position needs the others. They cannot exist without the other two positions.
The Gerbil Wheel!
Have you been on life's equivalent of the Gerbil Wheel?
I used to think that in order to be happier and more successful, I needed to work harder! More time, more effort, less fun and play.
When I was practicing law, I thought that success was counted in the billable hours my bosses wanted. So, I tried to meet those crazy billable hour requirements.
Ever done that? Work so hard you don't have much else but ... work?
I told myself that it is only crazy for a while! Things will calm down and then I will work out or eat better or call some friends, plan something fun - but life just kept marching on.
Then years went by.
Wow! That didn't work!
That is a recipe for burn out, depression and well, exhaustion!
I even changed careers to slow down.
But, instead of slowing down I just worked FASTER! Firefighters do everything with...
This game challenges us to regain our inner balance through mindfulness techniques.
The whole point of the game is to improve the time it takes you to regain your inner balance. Here is how it works:
1. Notice when we are out of balance. Something has brought up feelings that you are resisting and wrestling with. Stop the wrestling! Notice.
2. Feel it. What ever the feeling is feel it without judgement. Feelings are not good or bad, just feelings.
3. Make a choice to let it go and regain your balance.
4. Note how long it took you to regain your balance and make a game of doing it just a tiny bit faster next time.
5. Build your bounce back resiliency!
I used this game the day I heard of it from Brian Johnson (amazing philosopher and all around cool guy). Two things were delivered to my post box that brought up strong feelings that I could have gone into rumination...
Know any of these folks?
The funny thing is that science tells us that this is exactly the opposite of what we want to do!
Actually taking the action creates the confidence and the motivation we think we need to move towards success!
Fear of making a mistake or failing to reach a goal keeps us from taking action.
Of course, when we don't take action towards a goal, we fail to reach it anyway so we create the "failure" by failing to act.
Steve Chandler (author, speaker and coach) talks about seeing failure as GAME FILM!
What does an athlete do after the game to prepare for the next week or the season? Yep! The great ones review game film. Lots of game film.
They don't review game film to see themselves do things well as much to look at when things didn't go well. They take that information and...
We all fear to some extent being vulnerable. It feels uncomfortable. We fear looking bad or not knowing the answers. We see it in ourselves as being weak and think others will think we are weak if we show up being vulnerable. The funny thing is that when others are vulnerable, we see it as strength! When someone shares something personal that is painful, we feel honored. We feel trusted. (Assuming the share is appropriate).
Brene Brown - one of my favorite people, talks about a moment where she headed to the mall with her daughter and she was only going for a quick errand so she ran out of the house in sweats without makeup or a shower. :) Of course, She ran into two other moms in the store. Brene describes them as skinny, beautiful and totally put together. Brene was feeling not her best when she notices the moms (and their daughters) staring. She realizes that her own daughter is dancing to the...
It is counter intuitive.
We all at times feel that we do not have the time to take a break from our hectic lives. This is actually the time when it is the most important.
In fact, daily rejuvenation done as a habit will improve your creativity, your decision making, your mood and your energy.
Taking a vacation is not rejuvenation!
Although you may not "feel" like you have the time to take a break, you do. Make the choice to support yourself.
Rejuvenation needs to happen often and in short spurts to keep your energy high.
Taking mini breaks every 20 minutes has been shown to boost decision making, creativity, energy and mood. Set a timer. (on your phone, silly)
When it goes off try this: