For most of my life achievement was the goal. Career, relationships, health, or athletics - I saw it through the lens of achievement.
Wanting to reach a huge goal (first doctorate in family, first female officer in my fire department), a small goal (complete 2 spartan races within 1 year of wrist fracture with bolts) or a seemingly impossible goal (85lb standing bicep curl?) created constant motivation.
The love I sought outside myself through achievement was a lover who was always unattainable. I could always be not quite good enough. There is always more, something bigger and better.
Don't get me wrong, Achievement is valuable, and it has a dark side.
Often achievement can be a way of avoiding hard conversations, things you don't want to think or speak about.
Seeking achievement can create busyness. When we feel constantly moving, working, and achieving you feel there isn't the "luxury" of self-reflection.
You tell yourself...