How do you keep out more Success & Happiness - The Upper Limit Problem.

Uncategorized Dec 07, 2020

Your personal Glass Ceiling.

Everyone has one.  Social scientists and experts all say we have a "set point" or a level of happiness and success where we are comfortable. 

It doesn't have to do with our current reality. Our set point is developed early in life based on  stories about success and happiness we received and coded into our subconscious from childhood.  We then carry those stories into adulthood.

Often we are not aware of those stories we tell ourselves. 

Unexamined, those stories tend to stay with us as a default setting.   

Your default set point is your glass ceiling or the point where you are comfortable. When you rise  above it, you tend to do things to get back to "normal" or your default setting.  

Think:  self sabotage.

Have you ever had a big win at work, maybe a promotion or getting a big sale only to find yourself worrying about something totally unrelated like politics and feeling the happiness and joy from the win drain out of you?

That is an example of the upper limit problem as described by Gay Hendricks in his great book, "The Big Leap".  

Brene Brown has a similarly describes having a great date night with her husband and as they were walking up the path to the front door she suddenly was filled with the thought that an assault could happen or be happening to her kids inside.  The sudden negative thought drains all the great feeling from the date night.  She refers to it as date night buzz kill!

We all do it.  

We all have a set point. 

 So, what can we do about it?

First, notice!

Notice when things in your life are going well and you do something to sabotage those great feelings.   Being aware of our inner dialogue is key to tapping into those unconscious stories and bringing them into the light of conscious awareness.

Second, commit to shifting from limitation to expansion.

Committing is really re-commitment.  

Recommit all throughout your day!


Commit in the moment to expanding in an area you noticed a glass ceiling. 

I love the visual of blasting through our glass ceilings.  But, honestly, the changes are subtle and small.  It is in the magic of consistent small steps that aggregate and compound over time that create the shattered ceiling.

If you are interested in exploring how to close the gap between how you are showing up and who you are capable of being, please go here to learn more about GAP, a woman's coaching group.  GAP = Growth, Adventure & Play.


To read Gay Hendrick's great book go here to get it on Amazon or your favorite book store.  

Here is to shattering our collective glass ceilings and letting go of stories that no longer serve us.



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